Working It Out

I've been feeling pretty shitty (depression wise) these past two weeks and I've decided to take my life back.

I've also decided that having extended family live with you is probably not a good idea. I think I almost have super-hubby talked into moving with just our boys. Tell the b-i-l to get his own place. I can't take it mentally. I could number off all of his annoying habits but I'm choosing to take the high road and not say a word. Just know it is very difficult living with this man.

Plus, I remembered to get back to listening to tunes again. Gawd I have missed music. It's like vitamins to me. I feel so much better this afternoon just listening to it for like 3 hours. Wowee!

On another front - I am in a show with my clothing in November. Can't wait. Only thing is I am SO shy. I am going to see if my friend will help me. Because, seriously, she is not shy AT all. She is truly who I aspire to be. She has a warm heart. Is understanding. Has the patience of a saint. Perfect - in my eyes anyways.

There's the Sunday update. Hope my groove stays right where it should - right here with me!

Did You Know?

That kissing someone for more then 10 seconds at time relieves stress and helps with depression?

Wonder what happens if I kiss him all day long...

Floating Around

Since it's been a while since I've blogged I decided to surf around and see what is new. What is going on around the web. While on my net travels I encountered more meaness than I ever thought I would ever see. My view has always been if you don't like what I write don't read it. No skin off of my back. But I noticed a lot of people have opinions about how others live their lives, what they choose to share in their OWN blogs and numerous other things that remind me high school.

Seriously, WTF?

If you don't like it don't read it.

Does it make a person feel important if they harass someone via the net? All it makes is another whole new kind of bully. And seriously? I feel sick to my stomach when I think about that. Some people were told they were "sharing" too much and maybe they should grow thicker skin. Why should they at their own blog? I.don't.get.it.

To me it's always been if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

That's what this world needs. To get back to basics. Respect each other and others views.

It's not hard at all.

Now that I have given my opinion on this I am done with this post.

Take care all!

I try to keep up but sometimes it gets hard. It's been an interesting couple of months to say the least.

First things first - I am not pregnant. Geez louise it was scary there for a bit. I even took a pregnancy to see if I was. Thank gawd for that. It would have been too intense for me.

Secondly - I was all set to open a store with a partner and the day before we were to sign the lease she backed out. It's okay I think. I mean, everything happens for a reason right? We have a new plan of action now and I believe it's a better fit for my hubby and I. I'll update about that as it goes along.

Right now there are a lot of things up in the air. I feel a little lost at times and not really too sure where things are going. I hope that soon things will settle down and I will be able to breathe.

For now, that's all I can write.

Take care!

The Bakery Is Still Closed...I Think


This year marked my 40th year on this earth and in those 40 years I've cried my fair share, loved, lost and loved again. This year is supposed to be MY year. Not in the selfish way but my year to shine a little. I've always stood in the shadows and let others have all the light.

This is the year of the launch of my clothing line, the year I welcomed in my first grandchild, the year when it was just Super-hubby, S, J and I left at home. The three older ones are forging their way in adulthood.

Now, I am not sure what I feel. I may be pregnant or for the first time in my WHOLE life I have missed a period. Either way I am scared. Because if I am pregnant am I ready to be a Mom to a tiny treasure once more? My youngest is fifteen he is self sufficient, can stay home while I work or grocery shop. In other words he is almost grown up. After having five kids (five under five for a while) I am not ready for a sixth anymore. There was a six but we miscarried long long ago when I felt ready for that. I had my tubes tied at that point. Thus there can be no buns in this oven and the bakery is closed. Or so I thought.

Then there is this -what if I am NOT pregnant and my body is saying, "Guess what? Not even a possibility for you anymore." That makes me sad because it is no longer my decision. What if in say two years I am in a different place in my life? What if-what if- my daughter couldn't carry a child but I could for her? What if that part of my life is just over?

Now, I didn't want to get all tear-in-my-beer on you all but I am seriously lost. And I scared because what if this is something else I dare not to mention. So far, I've refused to do a pregnancy test for fear of either result.

I know, I know I sound like the crazy cat lady or something. But I am stuck between a rock and a hard place not knowing where to turn.

Changes

When I said in my last post it was time for a change I wasn't kidding. After a week of searching online for a free template I have chosen this one. This one is called "TIRED" - ha ha someone had me in mind. For those of you who has read me before this is a little different than before - but this is a change I like. If anyone has an idea of what can be done with this space let me know, I'm open to new things.

I've made a promise to myself that I am go to try to read five new blogs a day and comment on at least one. Also, I am going to post here between 2-4 times per week depending on my bore factor. I'm reaching out which is hard for me to do since I am so very shy. But this excites me since it pretty much marks my "true" return to blogging.

There are few people who read this that I have known for a long time. To them I ask for patience as I am going to start from the beginning and go until now with some reposts (from my old blog) and some new things so everyone has an idea of who I am and what I am about. I figure a week will be it or so.

Now I'm off to do some more remodeling here and then to catch up on the blogs I lurk at. Who knows maybe I will leave a comment today!

Take care all~

Almost Time For Changes

Here I am again and I've been looking around, I think it's nearly time for a drastic change around here. Some renos are in order. Thinking about what I may do...

My little princess Chloe is three months tomorrow and still holds my heart. I knew I would love being a Nanny but not as much as I do. She is such a joy for me. I think because when my kids were growing up I was working and the major disciplinarian, not much fun for me or the kids for that matter, I never got to just sit back and enjoy. Now I can. Even as I sit here I am smiling. That is her and her COOLIO sunglasses!

I've been working some on my fashion show designs but admittedly not as much as I should. I know I have a procrastination problem so I am working on this a lot. I am NOT going to be running around like a chicken with my head come off come September.

In other news....super hubby and I have bought a pop up trailer! Used, of course...BUT woohoo no more sleeping on the ground!!! I can't wait to just get away and have some relaxation time.

Time to run...I've got a computer to get ready for my use..;)